Joaquin Phoenix Better Be Pretending

Much has been made of Hollywood actor Joaquin Phoenix's recent erratic behaviour, he quit acting, grew his hair long, grew a homeless man's beard and became a self-proclaimed hip hop artist. A few weeks ago it was revealed that all of this is nothing more than pretend, the change of career and drastic new look is for a mock documentary about him trying to break into the music industry, that he's been filming with Ben Affleck's brother Casey. And earlier this week he appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman in what has to be the oddest televised interview yet.

Dry Your Bloodshot Eyes

Here's a Youtube video of vapid actor and Hollywood pest Ashton Kutcher in an early morning sailor's hat complaining about the noise of construction workers building a house next door to his palatial mansion. His childish rant centres on the fact that the workers are "pounding, welding steel", (whatever the fuck that means?), at 7am in the morning, yes that's right, seven o'clock in the morning! How inconsiderate of these members of the working class to rise so early to provide a wage for their families to stave off the encroaching recession. He also complains that his neighbour is a "Jackass" and "Dickweed" for having the audacity to build a house and that he's making this video for "legal reasons". RANT HERE.

There is now also an apology video of Ashton explaining to his fan that he was a little rash and his outburst was unnecessary. It also gives us a fascinating insight into the actor's ordinary working day as he peps himself up to eat a salad. Some people build houses for living others eat lettuce. The world is a crazy place. APOLOGY HERE.

Hey There Tough Guy

Russell Crowe is an actor who has forged a career out of playing manly, heroic, hairy, testosterone fuelled characters in movies like Gladiator, American Gangster, 3:10 To Yuma and Cinderella Man. But for some reason the 'Hollywood hellraiser' can't ride a simple bike without a special crash helmet and stylish fingerless gloves. Hear that sound? It's Lee Marvin spinning in his fucking grave. PICS HERE