Jade Wonderful Jade

Turns out my runaway imagination isn't so runaway these days, as pop culture in Britain has hit such a serious low that plans are now afoot to turn Jade Goody's life story into a genuine west end musical. Not just that, oh no, why stop there when so many more avenues can be exploited for profit with such wonderfully rich source material. As well as the musical a TV show is also planned, a reality TV show where you the public can watch as lucky hopefuls audition for the lead part in front of a panel of judges. Mmmm I wonder who would judge such an event....Oh how about whatshisface? Max Clifford. Yeah he'd be great, because after all he made a fucking ton of money knew Jade best. STORY HERE

Pegg & Frost Lite

This trailer is awful, make no bones about it. I'm reliably informed that James Cordone and Matthew Horne are brilliant in Gavin and Stacey, but this effort reeks of shit. Entitled Lesbian Vampire Killers it looks like a direct rip off of Shaun Of The Dead, only this time the gifted writers have taken that premise and turned it entirely on it's head by substituting zombies for....yes, lesbian vampires. Genius.
Really, is this what we are prepared to sell our cousins across the Atlantic? Is this all the British film industry can come up with, Guy Ritchie London gangster films and now comedy/horror/ Laurel & Hardy style romps? At this rate it won't be long before we start re-making the Carry On films...wait, we already tried that.

Another Piece Of The Jigsaw

I constantly come across moments in my life where I find myself thinking: "Ah right, now I get it." These moments usually centre around trivialities, but I love the little sense of satisfaction and achievement I get whenever it happens, like I've just solved an ancient mystery of life.
For example, I was watching an old movie last night called The Killing Of A Chinese Bookie directed by John Cassavetes. There is a scene in the movie where the main character Cosmo, played by the brilliant Ben Gazzara, is talking on the phone to his club's bartender and shouting: "Are there letters on the wall that say p-a-r? There's another card that says moon. Well, what's he singing? Like being hit by a bolt of lightening I instantly realised I had heard this phrase before and it wasn't long until I had figured it out.
In the music video for David Gray's song Sail Away, (where David is staggering home from the pub during a typical Saturday night), there is a scene where a man on the street with a broken nose is talking on his mobile asking: "Are there letters on the wall which read p-a-r? There's another card that says moon. Well, what's he singing?" Since that video first aired I always wondered where that phrase came from and now nearly ten years later I discovered the answer. Just another little piece of the jigsaw.

So How Much For The Condos?

One man, a sign, a street corner and the wall of sound that is Elbow. Let this tune wash away your Monday blues. Below are the lyrics so you can sing along and pretend you're a huge rock star, (please don't pretend you won't).



Drinking in the morning sun
Blinking in the morning sun
Shaking off the heavy one
Heavy like a loaded gun

What made me behave that way?
Using words I never say
I can only think it must be love
Oh, anyway, it’s looking like a beautiful day

Someone tell me how I feel
It’s silly wrong but vivid right
Oh, kiss me like the final meal
Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight

Cause holy cow, I love your eyes
And only now I see the light
Yeah, lying with me half-awake
Oh, anyway, it’s looking like a beautiful day

When my face is chamois-creased
If you think I’ll wink, I did
Laugh politely at repeats
Yeah, kiss me when my lips are thin

Cause holy cow, I love your eyes
And only now I see you like
Yeah, lying with me half-awake
Stumbling over what to say
Well, anyway, it’s looking like a beautiful day

So throw those curtains wide!
One day like this a year’d see me right!

Stop This, Right F**king Now!

It appears that Hollywood is now officially a creative desert, devoid of any trace of imagination or courage. According to various internet movie blogs tinseltown producers are lining up to gang rape yet another classic film, in an attempt to "reboot" a possible franchise. The movie in question is John Carpenter's 1982 cult classic The Thing and the plot they have in mind sounds like it's from another planet too. DETAILS HERE.

T-Shirt Hell Closes Down

It appears life as a t-shirt mogul doesn't have the edge it once used to. Sunshine Megatron, (formerly Aaron Landau Schwarz), founder of the most controversial and outspoken t-shirt website, http://www.tshirthell.com/ is calling it a day. In a letter to his customers he states that his decision to close down the site once and for all has nothing to do with the current global financial climate, but instead has everything to do with the constant flood of morons he has to deal with on a day to day basis. I can really sympathise with him on that point. Here's a copy of the letter HERE and more info about the elusive Sunshine Megatron HERE.

On Deck

Welcome to HMS Friday a blog which will highlight the worst of life and pop culture, from infuriating celebrities and news stories to disappointing products and general total let downs, we hope to cover them all.

For those of you interested in the origin of our blog name here is a brief description of the term: "Sometime in the 19th century, the Royal Navy attempted to finally dispel the old superstition among sailors that beginning a voyage on a Friday was certain to bring bad luck. To demonstrate the falseness of this belief, they decided to commission a ship named HMS Friday. Her keel was laid on a Friday, she was launched on a Friday, and she set sail on her maiden voyage on a Friday, under the command of a Captain James Friday. She was never seen or heard from again."