I Live In A Racist Town

I harbour a fantasy, a vision that I am from another planet. I think about it a lot, I imagine and sometimes pray that I've been sent here unknowingly by my alien race to observe life on earth. I yearn for the day where I open my front door to be greeted by my handlers in their silver, shiny overalls, who will proudly announce my job here on earth is now complete and I can finally come home. I'll be relieved, delighted and somewhat aroused, (it happens when I'm happy, don't judge me).

The reason I fantasize about such a far-fetched, sci-fi based scenario is largely due to things like the picture above. I took it yesterday in a shop located in the town where I live. At the rear of this shop is the largest collection of Golliwog dolls you're likely to see, every shape and size.
Now in 1988 the world famous jam manufacturers James Robertson & Son decided to remove pictures of Golliwogs from the lids of their jam jars after 78 years. It followed a boycott of their products by the Greater London Council who found the images offensive. Even though the production of Golliwog paraphernalia isn't illegal to this day, it is still heavily frowned upon and to find this in my local store is quite tragic.

By now you should be familiar with Carol Thatcher's dismissal from the BBC's The One Show after her use of the word "Golliwog" in front of co-workers following a broadcast. For those who haven't a clue what I'm on about, here's a quick refresher: Carol Thatcher, daughter of tyrannical, demonic, right-wing, gargoyle Margaret Thatcher had been working for The One Show as a sometime correspondent. After a broadcast last month, as she, fellow guests and workers watched the Australian Open on television, she was overheard using the word "Golliwog" to describe French tennis player Jo Wilfried Tsonga. Understandably people took offensive, she was reported, she wouldn't say sorry and the BBC told her she couldn't work for The One Show again.

However, it seems that public opinion is split over this issue with many people claiming it was said in jest and that Carol should be given a second chance, but I can't understand why. The word is flat-out offensive and for decades was used by white people as a derogatory term to describe black people. Yes, it was originally a soft toy doll for kids and yes, it was based on the "black face minstrels" of the 19th century, but the word "Wog" is a by-product from this doll, a word used by whites the world over to describe every other race of colour, (Greeks, Hispanics, Italians, Native Americans, Asians, Middle Easterners and Indians), in a highly offensive and racist fashion.

Which brings me neatly back to my local shop and it's large collection of Golliwog dolls, located in the high street of the town where I live, which also has this on it's main beach:

This ladies and gentlemen is Jim Crow. Well, a large rock on a beach which is painted to resemble a hybrid of a crow and a Golliwog, (notice the ruby red lips and blackface?), with the words "Jim Crow" painted on it's side.

Pictures of this local eyesore can be bought as postcards in many of my town's shops, for tourists to post back to their friends, family and fellow KKK members. This rock has stood here for decades and has been defaced three times, (twice by a friend of mine), only for locals to repaint and restore it back to its glorious, racist, original former glory. For those of you who don't know who or what Jim Crow is, here's a quick refresher:

Jim Crow is a derivative from the song "Jump Jim Crow" which was performed by the artist Thomas D. Rice, a white actor, (who became known as the "father of American minstrelsy."), who would blacken up his face and dance along to the song as a caricature of African Americans. This song and dance number was being performed as early as 1832. Here are the lyrics:

Come, listen, all you girls and boys, I'm just from Tuckahoe;
I'm going to sing a little song, My name's Jim Crow.
Chorus: Wheel about, and turn about, and do just so;
Every time I wheel about, I jump Jim Crow.
I went down to the river, I didn't mean to stay,
But there I saw so many girls, I couldn't get away.
I'm roaring on the fiddle, and down in old Virginia,
They say I play the scientific, like master Paganini,
I cut so many monkey shines, I dance the galoppade;
And when I'm done, I rest my head, on shovel, hoe or spade.
I met Miss Dina Scrub one day, I give her such a buss [kiss];
And then she turn and slap my face, and make a mighty fuss.
The other girls are going to fight, I told them wait a bit;
I'd have them all, just one by one, as I thought fit.
I whip the lion of the west, I eat the alligator;
I put more water in my mouth, then boil ten loads of potatoes.
The way they bake the hoe cake, Virginia never tire;
They put the dough upon the foot, and stick them in the fire.

Now just like the Golliwog doll the song Jump Jim Crow transformed itself through the years

until the name Jim Crow became a derogatory term used by whites the world over to describe every other race of colour, (Greeks, Hispanics, Italians, Native Americans, Asians, Middle Easterners and Indians), in a highly offensive and racist fashion. Is it me or is there a pattern emerging? More shockingly the name Jim Crow transformed itself into a term used, again by whites, for the laws in America which mandated segregation in all public facilities between 1876 and 1965, known as the Jim Crow Laws.

So there you have it, a soft toy doll with a blackface, oversized, ruby red lips and wild woolly hair which gave us the racist term "Wog" and a song and dance number which stereotyped African Americans, gave us the racist term "Jim Crow" and the rock which lies on my local beach.

Yet a prime time BBC broadcaster and daughter of a former Prime Minister still cannot understand why she's lost her job for using the word "Golliwog" to describe a black French tennis player and who refuses to issue an apology. And then there's the racist town where I live. Where you can find evidence of not one but both of these tragic reminders why we are a non-progressive race of people, right here on my local high street and on my local beach. Obviously I'll refrain from posting the town's name and location, for fear of being lynched.

Space brothers I am ready, please come get me now.

Shazbut Nanu-Nanu