They Have No F**king Idea

As the threat of swine flu hangs heavy over us all it's worth noting that this recent panic, this recent tsunami of widespread fear and impending doom, is more than likely a right royal waste of fucking time. Take Keiji Fukuda for example, the World Health Organisation's flu expert, this merchant of doom recently stated that two billion people could be infected with the swine flu if the outbreak turns into a pandemic lasting two years. He then went on to qualify this shitpantingly scary claim by saying: "Please do not interpret this as a prediction for the future." So why make the fucking statement in the first place?

Vader's apprentice then went on to reveal that: "It would be a reasonable estimate to say perhaps a third of the world's population would get infected with this virus." But asked if this number was a reasonable prediction he replied: "We don't really know."

That's right the World Health Organisation's head honcho on viral diseases came forward to strike panic into everyone and pigs, by suggesting that swine flu could mark the end for a large number of us and that in just two years a third of the world's population would suffer from the virus. He then paused briefly to fill his mouth full of cream cake, shrugged his shoulders and sounding like Scooby Doo mumbled: "mmmmidon'tknow."